My Life's Best Part
by Written Fire
Summary: The day that you first see in color is the single most important day in someone's life. The day that it fades...that, is the worst.


_So last month I stumbled across a tumblr post about a black and white soulmate au that really got me thinking. This is a product of that. Part of why it struck me so much is probably because of what was going on in my personal life... _

_But, I shan't go into that, I know that you all came to read the story! _

_I hope that you enjoy it as much as I do._

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Merlin!

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"_Merlin, will you come here, please? There's someone I'd like you to meet." His mother's soft tones floated on the air, drawing his attention away from the book he had been reading. Finding the pressed flower he had been using as a bookmark he placed it between the pages, the vibrant mix of gray colored petals standing out against the stark black and white of the novel. According to his mother it was a rose, red and white and pink, bright and beautiful to see. _

_To him it was nothing but gray with a bit of darker gray, and a spattering of lighter gray; nothing remarkable about it._

_Setting his book aside he made his way through the maze that was his bedroom, feet heavy as he made his way to the living room. He did not particularly want to meet whoever was there with her; since moving to Camelot two months previously, his mom had been trying in vain to find him some friends—Merlin guessed she felt guilty for making him leave behind the one true friend he had. Merlin appreciated the thought, he truly did, but it was embarrassing to have your mother set you up on what could only be described as a play date._

_This meeting would probably be as awkward as the last, full of stilted conversation and uncomfortable silence, expectant parents hovering unhelpfully at a reasonable distance away. The only person he had met that he hadn't been made to be nice to was his Uncle Gaius, and the man proved to be far more interesting than he had anticipated. _

_He wasn't going into this meet with high expectations; he paused just outside the room, taking a deep breath and pasting a polite smile to his lips. Stepping around the door frame he looked first at his mother—his smile taking on a more genuine tone at the sight of her face—next skimming over a man who looked intimidating, even sitting down on their homely sofa as he was, before finally settling on the teenager he knew had been brought over for him to meet._

_Their eyes locked…_

_...and his world exploded in color._

"You hear all of your life what will happen when—if you're lucky—you meet your soul mate; there will suddenly be colors in what had always been a gray world. You'll fall in love so suddenly, for you've found the person that you were made for, the one you were destined to spend the rest of your life with. For Arthur and me…for us, it couldn't be further from the truth. The sudden explosion of colors was true—it hit us so hard we fell. And for a long time, that was the only kind of falling we did."

"_Arthur is an arrogant prat!" Merlin cried as he stomped his way into his home, kicking his shoes off at the door and letting his backpack fall with a dull 'thunk', paying it no further attention as he walked to the kitchen where his mother stood at the counter, methodically cutting a carrot into slices for their dinner. _

"_What did he do this time?" she asked with a warm voice, her amusement only growing when he turned to her with an angry pout upon his face, waving his free hand around as he continued with his tirade._

"_Mr. Kilgharrah assigned us to be lab partners this semester and Arthur did nothing to help me all period! He said that 'since you're so good at this, __**Mer**__lin, I'll leave it to you' and then turned and talked to his friends about their football game this weekend!" Setting his drink down before he spilled it he turned to his mom, struck again by how he could now see her for how she really looked; she was still as beautiful as she had been when his world was stuck in black and white, but now he was able to appreciate how warm her brown eyes really were._

_It was the one thing he was thankful to Arthur for, despite how much he disliked him; he could finally see all the colors his mother had spent his childhood trying to describe to him. And if his favorite color happened to be the bright, intense blue of his so-called soul mates eyes…well, no one had to know._

"It took us a few years to be able to be around one another without falling into an argument, and years more for our friendship to mature into the kind of love that you hope that you will find with the one who brings you color. We were both so stubborn, so blind to ourselves and each other that the day we first acted on our feelings…it took us by surprise, an emotion that no one around us shared."

_Seeing him with her made his gut clench uncomfortably, something sitting heavy in his chest each time that she made him smile. He couldn't explain it and didn't feel like he could ask someone to help him understand what it was; so instead he sat back and watched, that heaviness growing and growing until he felt like he couldn't breathe._

_Arthur was his best friend, the one person that he could trust totally and completely. In any other situation, he was the one that he would go to; to not be able to turn to him for the first time in years left him feeling unsettled, something he knew Arthur was noticing, if the frowning looks of concern he was seeing directed at him were any indication. _

_It wasn't until he was trying to cheer him up in true Arthur fashion that he finally understood why seeing them together left him feeling the way that he did. They had wrestled their way off of the couch, and Arthur's warm familiar weight had been pinning him to the floor, his strong fingers holding his wrists above his head. It was a moment of stillness when they realized how close they were, how little space there was between them, their lips just inches away. Breaking that space was simultaneously one of the easiest and hardest things he had ever done. _

"Once we were together, it was hard to believe that there was ever a time where we didn't like each other, where just seeing his face didn't make my heart pound, didn't make me feel complete. We loved each other with the same intensity that we had once hated each other. Being together was terrifying and all-consuming in the best possible way; it was intense but left me feeling complete in a way I know I'll never feel again."

_Unable to hold it in any longer Merlin let his laughter spill out, using Arthur's tie to pull him close. "Relax, Arthur. You'll be fine; my mother loves you and you know it." Smoothing down his lapels he grinned up at him, pressing a quick kiss to soft lips. _

_Arthur set his hands on his hips and turned his quick kiss into a long affair; Merlin sighed contently into it, hands falling to rest lightly on either side of his neck. He would never tire of this, the way that it felt to be kissed and so loved by another. Arthur pressed his mouth open, tongue slipping in and tangling with his. By the way his hands had slid slowly up under his shirt, he knew that they were going to be late for their dinner._

_As a moan escaped his throat over what Arthur was doing, he knew he couldn't care less._

"No one ever expects to lose someone the way we did; he was so young, and still had so much to be done, to be experienced. Like everyone our age, we thought ourselves invincible. Death could not touch us—not until we were old and grey, with a family and a legacy to leave behind. We thought we had forever…"

_Setting the menu in their waiters expecting hands Merlin turned to Gwen and grinned. "So, what was the news that you just couldn't wait to share with me?" _

_Taking a deep breath Gwen leaned forward, a smile brightening her features as she began to stammer out her exciting news. Merlin had a good idea what it was; Lancelot was not that subtle about his new found interest in all things babies. The look on his face as he watched a mother and her toddler play at the park the last time they were together was a pretty clear sign to the rest of the group. _

_Taking his phone out he drew up Arthur's contact, taking a moment to look at those blue eyes that he loved so, prepared to call him so they could share the news with him together, once Gwen had managed to find the correct words—in her happiness, it was taking her a while to get to the point._

_It was as he was looking at that stunning blue that it happened; for just one moment it was as if everything had become more vivid, the colors of everything around him brighter than they had ever been. But then the moment ended…_

…_and his world turned dark._

"Arthur Pendragon was strong, brave, charming. He was noble and a prat. Arthur was many things, and important to many people. I don't know what I am going to do without him for the rest of my life. He was loved, and he will be missed. And until the day comes that I can see him again, a piece of me will always be missing."

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_The ending was -well, hard for me. I hope that it didn't show. If you like this, I have more Merlin stories on my page, and more to come!_

_Thank you for reading, and please - leave a review!_

_-Written Fire._


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